What Did you EAT!?

My dogs have never been well-behaved and probably never will be. They are dogs. I try to control them, and they get even more out of control much the same way abstinent couples do right after the wedding ceremony. They are friendly, cute and they have never growled or bitten anyone - EVER. So I figure if I have to deal with a chewed up book or them getting into the trash, then so be it.

This was my thinking before Tuesday of this week. I opened the door after a long day of work, only to find my birth control tattered and empty laying on the kitchen floor. My immediate thought was "Those a-holes! Aetna won't let me get another pack when I just got one on SUNDAY!" not "OMG my babies are going to die!" Besides, they seemed fine. I bet after the first two paragraphs, you now have no doubt in your mind I am going to be a great mother.

I called the pharmacy to find out if I could get another pack. No prob. Then I called Poison Control too see if I would be able to have the pleasure of pouring hydrogen peroxide down their throats until they puked. Not even that lucky. Apparently my birth control doesn't have iron in it, which is the only cause for concern when canines try to 'be responsible.' They didn't even get an upset stomach, and they ate 2 weeks + placebo pills.

My boyfriend Mike is definitely a boob man. Tiny Child (this is what he calls Shame) just loves Mike. Trick and I think that Shame was trying to grow boobies so Mike would love her more than me (6 boobies vs 2 boobies) and that Nugget was trying to get a higher octave position in choir. What is wrong with speculation?