Yesterday morning, I woke up to greet the day and take my dogs outside. Now for any of you that smoke cigarettes, you can relate with how important the first one of the day is. Gives you that legit dizzy/nauseous feeling and really makes your brain wake up, even if it is waking up to die.
Whenever I am walking my dogs and someone is coming towards me, I pull my dogs to the side so that person doesn't have to walk on the grass or get licked to death by little Nugget - see below (Shame is quite anti-social). I consider it common courtesy.
Monday morning, walking my dogs, smoking my cig and carrying a bag of poop, I am sure I was more stunning that the image you have in your head right now. I turn the corner and notice a man RIGHT THERE, so I make an obvious effort to try to pull tiny Nugget away from him so he can continue walking in peace. Below is the exchange that occurred.
WoW fan: "You know, I can get them to listen to you."
Me: *stunned sleepy face*
WoW fan: "All you have to do is make up a command for them, like 'Here!' or 'Come!' and when they do, you give them a treat. Then after awhile, they will just come on command and you won't need a treat."
After this he gave me a self-accomplished smile, and waited for me to thank him and tell him that he was the best person ever, and no, that it wasn't obvious he lived in his grandma's basement, listened to Depeche Mode and played World of Warcraft while drinking the newest energy drink. When he did not receive this much wanted verbal response and only received a blank stare laden with signs of boiling rage he decided to throw in this anecdote:
WoW fan: "Oh and you might want to smoke your cigarette BEFORE you take your dogs for a walk."
I was immediately awake with a soaring blood pressure. With nothing else to say...
Angry Julie: "Go back to your WoW game ass douche."
Why do people feel the need to comment on what I am doing? I made an effort to pull the dogs to one side of the sidewalk so he could walk by, and he berates me and tells me I am a bad owner because I don't teach my dogs fancy commands and smoke cigarettes while not teaching them fancy commands. I don't comment (to your face) on how pale you are, or how badly you need a haircut, or how stupid it is to wear socks with sandals, do I? Nor did I tell you to do all of that at the same time, because telling complete strangers how they should take care of their health, dogs, children, hygiene, cars etc is NOT COOL.
Unless you're their mom.
J
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