Normally when people ask me for change, a cigarette, a 40 oz., I always politely answer "nope, sorry!" and keep walking. On Saturday, I was going out to see my former boss Tracy who has since been traveling the world. I don't know if it was because the frenzy of excitement to see her was covering up the rational part of my brain, but when this particularly wormy woman asked "Can you do me a favor?" the following ensued.
Wormy Woman: "Can you do me a favor?"
Me: "Let me guess, you want a cigarette?"
Wormy Woman: "Yes, and would you mind if I used your phone?"
I am sure I showed an immediate look of annoyance, while digging around for my phone and cigarettes so this stringer could rape me in the smallest sense. She dialed my phone (of course it was long distance), and while she was talking I handed her my pack of cigs.
Wormy Woman: "Can you pull one out for me?"
Me: "Sure! Did you want me to exhale it into your mouth too?"
Honestly woman, have you looked in a mirror? Does it look like I should be doing you favors? Not only do I have cuter dogs, I am taller and outweigh your drug-addicted body by at least 20 lbs, not to mention my fuse is shorter than your need to shoot-up again.
A normal looking man asked me for 45 cents this morning for the bus. I didn't even look at him.
People say living in NYC changes your life. Welcome to Capitol Hill.
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